Spam and Eggs

Sometimes I like reading my spam messages. But one thing I always wonder is: why the hell can't they spell or use proper grammar? Are they all ESL learners? If so, Spammers, please let me know in your next emails to me that you would like some ESL school recommendations for Vancouver. I can help you out with that.

Dearest In Christ,

Please use this money for the churches and less privileged.
Greetings to you and your family in the name of God. In my search for a
reliable and God fearing person and having gotten your contact through prayers
and pain staking efforts I have decided to seek your help in carrying out my
last wishes. My name is Mrs.Annabella Estes. I'm 65 year?s old woman and from
England . I was a merchant and owned two businesses in London and also a
textile mill in Ghana. I was also married with two children.My husband
who also
happens to be an English man and two children died in a car accident six years
ago. Before this happened, my business and concern for making money was all I
live for. I never really cared about other values in life. But since the loss
of my family, I have found a new desire to assist helpless families. I have
been helping orphans in orphanage/motherless homes. I have also donated some
money for humanitarian needs in London , South Africa , Cameroon , Brazil ,
Spain , Austria ,Germany and some Asian countries. Only recently I saw on
television the colossal loss of properties and livelihood in Kenya due to thge
political crisis over there. I was moving with great pity and
compassion that I
decided to make this contribution on assisting people over there, I kept
$US15,000,000.00 Fifteen Million Dollars in a long-term deposit account in a
Finance company.

Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for
esophagi cancer at one of the best teaching hospital in Accra Ghana. I have
since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only few
months to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to victims
of the flood in Asia and other charity organization. Because relatives and
friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live
with the agony entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the deposit and
distribute it accordingly. Use your judgment to distribute the money and keep
20% of it to yourself. Feel free to reimburse yourself when you have the money
for any cost you incure during the process of collecting and distributing the
money. If you are willing to help, please reply as soon as possible.
May the good lord bless you and your family.