My Hood

A list of trash from my neighborhood:

• A bottle of mystery brand bleach


• A plastic wrapper from something shaped like a dildo


• A student desk (like a pupitre)


• Unopened condom packages


• Blankets


• Opened condom packages


• Rained-on couch

This list kind of makes my neighborhood seem sketchier than it ever feels. Every time one of my coworkers gives me a ride home, though, we see the middle-aged blonde lady who dresses like a hooker but I'm not sure if she is or if she just has super sketchy style (mini skirts; bright halter tops that show maximum skin; platform high heels; tall, platinum blonde hair that looks very processed, a little dirty, and definitely not combed). You can decide.

Note: The dog is not found in my neighborhood, but hopefully his cuteness can help balance out the kind-of-gross list of trash.