Minister for Frozen Fish

This is a listening task from an ESL textbook we've been using for class. Who said foreign languages teaching has to be boring?
I suggest reading the parts aloud with feeling.

J=Juliet R=Romeo

And now, the Soup-in-a-box Players proudly present Romeo and Juliet, but William Shakespeare.

J Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? But that you were with me now, to share the pleasures and delights of my chicken supreme.

R She speaks. Oh, speak again, bright angel

J For I have fried two boneless, skinless chicken breasts until they hath browned, adding one small sliced onion, one hundred grammes of mushrooms, and cooking until soft.

R Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

J A goblet of white wine hath been lovingly added, and boiled, until the liquid hath been reduced by half. Then, a packet of Soup-in-a-box Cream of Chicken Soup poured in.

R Oh, temptation! Fair maid! Let me taste thy dish. Has it yet simmered until the meat is as tender as my love?

J The dish is as warm as thy lips, dear Romeo. Five fluid ouncees of single cream hast been stirred in, and it awaits you.